While I have been busy thinking of small changes to work on for each month instead of my usual New Year Resolutions, my body had been working on a BIG change all on its own - the change - menopause.
It was the drop in libido which really alerted me to what was going on. It is very unlike me to have no interest in sex. Much to my poor husband's confusion, that is where I found myself. I reassured him as much as I could then Googled 'Menopause Symptons' to reassure myself. I do wonder how on earth anyone managed in the days before the internet.
I could certainly relate to some of the symptoms that I read about. The plummeting sex drive was there brave and bold. Tiredness, headaches, increasing waistline, issues with memory, irregularity of periods, night sweats; mental ticks were put by each of these boxes. There were plenty of other reported symptoms that I was very glad not to add to my list. I also read through comments made by women who had felt they were suffering alone and keen to share their experiences. Some felt that they were diminished as women by the process.
I have thoroughly enjoyed my child bearing years. I have been lucky enough to have six relatively problem free pregnancies, labours and births resulting in my six wonderful children ranging in age from 3 - 26 years. I have loved ALL of it. I am determined to honour that time now by taking the next step in my reproductive journey with dignity.
I have a very open and honest relationship with my husband. We can talk about my lack of libido and see it not as the end of our sex life but something we just have to work around. I am treating all my other symptoms in my usual fashion - with humour.
I was just getting used to being fifty now I am having to adapt to being fifty and menopausal. I am finding plenty to laugh about!